Monthly Archives: August 2015

Review: Fuze Velvet Silicone Dildo

imageOn a recent shopping trip, I decided to get something for Dr. R so I grabbed this Fuze Velvet Silicone Dildo. I own a harness. We have played with pegging, but this was the first dildo I purchased specifically for strap on use. I was looking for something larger than the small, smooth peg that came with my harness, but nothing too large for beginner play. At just an inch wide, this toy seemed to fit the bill. I was drawn to the ridges on the base and that I could add a bullet vibe for me. I picked up a Tango while I was there, you know, because I needed a good bullet vibe if I was buying a toy made for one. More on that later. I also liked the angle of the shaft and that the base was oblong and not round. It seemed like it would sit up in the harness better than others I had tried.

After using this several times, I have to say I am a fan. It is 100% silicone, phthalate free, easy to clean and boilable. All good things when discussing anal toys. It is velvety silicone which I find to cause less friction and require less lube than the smooth silicone. And it feels nice. The shaft has some give but is certainly firm enough to stand up to insertion and thrusting. The head and shaft are slim and smooth enough that it is not overwhelming. The 5.5″ insertable length is perfect. It is long enough he gets the stimulation he wants, and I am not worried it is going to fall out mid-thrust. The bumps and grooves are all very gradual and nonirritating. My assumptions regarding the way it would sit in the harness were spot on. Because of the elongated base, it does not droop. I don’t feel like I have to readjust the harness every few minutes. That is big for someone new to thrusting! It is not a motion I can say I used to make very often, but I’m getting better!

imageThe features of this toy that were added for the wearer’s pleasure also make a huge difference for me. The ridges on the base are nice. I won’t say they give me a lot of stimulation, but they do help the toy stay in place. My harness is a very inexpensive (and cheap) harness and there is fabric between the toy and my body. I can imagine that these ridges could work wonders if the harness you are using is open behind the ring. I think I need an upgrade….The ability to add a bullet vibe really bumps this up for me. I enjoy the pressure of thrusting but I would not be able to get off on that alone. The vibe really increases my enjoyment of strap on play.image

The vibe can cause problems though. The Tango fits perfectly diameter wise, which is good because I need a strong vibe to start. Add some silicone between me and the vibrations and I need a really strong buzz. A cheap bullet wouldn’t have worked for me at all. BUT, the Tango is long and slips out when in use. If you get any lube down there, it will fall out between the motion and the vibrations. And you are going to get lube down there. I have no idea how you wouldn’t, especially with any anal play! That can be a bit distracting and you have to pause to reinsert it or continue without it while it flops around buzzing on the floor. Not ideal. Maybe I can figure out a way to support it from the bottom so it doesn’t fall out…duct tape?

As for the opinion from the one actually receiving the toy? He seems to like it very, very much.

Eyes open on the Swingset

I have been reading a book lately. Devouring it really. And it has kept me from posting anything because my mind is spinning in so many directions. I am reading Life on the Swingset by Cooper S. Beckett. If you haven’t read it, go get it now. Even if you are not interested in swinging, go get it now. His essays are so accessible and funny and pertinent. And the reason I am loving this book has almost nothing to do with swinging and is all about his outlook on life, the freedom he inspires, and how he is unabashedly himself. This passage sums up my attitude perfectly and why I am drawn to sexual exploration.

Which is, I think, why we “play.” By “we”, I mean swingers.
They’ve all grown up to their grown-up jobs and their grown-up
responsibilities and their grown-up hobbies (like fly fishing) and their
grown-up lawn mowing and dog walking and carpooling and
minivanning; all looking back on what The Boss called Glory Days.
Days that can’t be recaptured. Days that are long gone. As though
they’ve forgotten where the fun is and have replaced it with
simulacrum.
But still, we play.
We haven’t forgotten how to play. From the youngest playmate
I’ve had in their twenties to the oldest in their fifties, we remember to
enjoy…to suck the aforementioned marrow out of life (as well as other
stuff out of other things) and seize us some diem.

Just to be clear, Dr. R and I are not swingers (yet. I’ll get back to you on that after our Desire vacation in November). We have been monogamous for 18 years. Our entire adult life. We met very young and have grown happily together. Neither of us are looking for more in a relationship, but both of us are very sexually expressive. We may get there one day and this book has given me an entirely different perspective on The Lifestyle. It has really opened my eyes to the fun of it. Not just the naughty, carnal bit, but the playful side. The part that I can relate to and not take myself too seriously. It has given me a strange confidence in my capability to navigate an open relationship and have fun growing with my husband. Very cool and heavy stuff.

It has also made me examine what I would want in a purely sexual encounter. What are MY desires totally separate from Dr. R’s? By and large, they still include him, just with others added! I have done a lot of introspection about my own sexuality and identity. I know the vast majority of women who swing are bi-sexual, but I have never considered myself to be. I am a deep believer that sexuality is a varied and colorful spectrum. I just happen to fall quite firmly in the hetero area. That makes me a minority in the swing world! But, after reading all of Cooper’s book, I realize I may be cutting myself off from new experiences that may surprise me. Just because I have never been with a woman doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like it. It doesn’t mean I will either, but it is staying open to those new paths that is really key. Really what it is all about. Tasting all that life has to offer and enjoying every moment we can.

I can’t say if or how Dr. R and I will delve into this new lifestyle, but reading this book gave me a new perspective on myself. I often say that the greatest gift I give my friends is permission and acceptance to be themselves. I am not afraid to say what I think and feel about sex and, in my mind, I hope it gives them the confidence to do the same. Strangely this book did that for me. I have always been a very sexual person (not just in my marriage) and reading these very real essays with very real perspective let me know that I am totally normal in those thoughts. I have told many friends who have come to me worried about their fidelity that it is normal to have a crush even as a grown woman. (And it is by the way. We all do, even if you don’t admit it.) Healthy even. It just means we are still a woman capable of sexual desire. More than one thing may turn us on and that is an awesome and wonderful thing. This book just cemented that for me. Even if some don’t take the leap and act on those feelings, they have them. Some of us just dive in to touch, feel and taste.

Call us lustful, greedy, or gluttonous, but I have one life and I want to suck everything I can out of it.

Review: Key Comet Wand by Jopen

DSC_0243I am obsessed with the Comet Wand. As in, each time I would pull it out to write about it, I would end up using it and get myself totally distracted from the writing part. It is delightfully weighty and fits me perfectly. I have come to learn that my body craves g-spot stimulation. While I can’t get off from external vibrations alone, I can get off from g-spot stimulation and the orgasms are SPECTACULAR with this toy.

At it’s simplest, the Comet wand is a curved, glass toy. It has the heft and firmness of a glass dildo, but what Jopen does beyond that is genius. They dip the end in smooth silicone. This was actually what led me to try this toy over the Pure Wand first. I like the friction that the silicone provides. I like to feel the drag as well as the thrust and this does not disappoint. There are some small ridges around the shaft but I don’t find they add anything special. They seem a bit more aesthetic than anything.

The shape of the wand fits my body like it was custom made for me. No fumbling around looking for the right angle. I insert it and it is right there. The head of the toy is 5″ around. It is big, but not huge. It gives me that broad g-spot coverage I like though. That sensation is much more FULL than say the pinpoint stimulation of a finger or two. The toy is heavy but very easy to maneuver. The heft combined with the friction does tire my hand out sometimes though. My vagina clamps onto this thing and hugs it for dear life. When my hand gets tired, I can even just push downward on the glass handle to apply pressure to my g-spot with no thrusting and get off without issue. It is that good.

I had small concerns about cleaning the wand because of the seam where the silicone meets the glass handle. It hasn’t proved to be an issue at all. Some of the ridges in my other glass toys are much harder to get clean. I was also concerned that seam would rub or chafe my vagina but it doesn’t at all. It is not even a factor. Don’t let that deter you.

DSC_0239I need to mention the orgasms from this toy as well. They are insane, fast, and make me ravenous for more. They are the sort of “wake the neighbors, claw the headboard, arch you off the bed” deep orgasms. And because they are internal for me, my clit isn’t all tickly and I can keep going. Hence why I keep coming back for more. Add in my Tango and holy hell….

This isn’t the cheapest toy, but at around $75, its not bad. I promise you will get use out of it. I have had mine for a few weeks and haven’t put it down yet. Go get one. Trust me.

Eloise by Bluebella

DSC_0225I instantly fell in love with this set from Bluebella and it was on clearance! Bonus! I love red and black combos and am a total sucker for a bow. The quarter bra looked revealing and sexy and the Brazilian briefs were adorable. It was different than anything else I owned. I placed my order and waited for it to arrive from the UK.
When I opened the package, I first noticed the quality. This is my first set from Bluebella so I wasn’t sure what to expect. The quality is great. The lace is soft and not scratchy. There are no seam pulls. The elastic is thick. The ribbon details don’t pucker. Very good, especially for the sale price. Then I put the set on…The briefs are exactly as I had hoped. The fit is amazing. They flatter by butt and the bow is a sexy detail. The sizing was spot on. No squiging out the top. The quarter bra turned my boobs into odd torpedos. Not good. Not good at all. This is by no fault of the bra itself, but in my own anatomy. Since having two kids, my boobs are, sadly, not as full as they once were. The quarter cup just smooshes them up and then the ribbon detail smooshes them down, resulting in strangely compressed nipples jutting out into the world. Not so good.DSC_0221
I considered returning the bra but then had a thought. I pulled the ribbon down and tacked it to the top of the cup. Voila! The ribbon contains my nipples and gives my boobs a nice rounded shape again! It is still super sexy because the ribbon is see though and gives a cute peek a boo effect. I am now in love with both items in the set and intend to wear them out next time Dr. R and I have a date night.
If you haven’t tried Bluebella, I recommend checking them out. They didn’t pay me to say that! I was impressed with the quality and creative pieces they offer. And if you catch something in their clearance section, they are an exceptional value.

I’m a Lucky Girl

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As I drove home from my massage, I wondered what other surprises were in store. He had planned the whole day but I knew he was really just leading up to tonight. I could walk in to my husband hanging out downstairs, business as usual. Somehow, I doubted that though. I could also walk in to 5 men waiting for me in my living room. Dr. R can be unpredictable and amazing like that. I parked my car, steadied myself, and walked inside. He came walking through the kitchen to greet me at the door.
“Hi”
He pulled my dress up over my head and lead me to our bedroom. There I found a bath drawn, candles everywhere, and a bottle of my favorite Pinot Grigio. Serious romance.
“These are for you to put on after your bath.”
He motioned to a box and my red heels. Wide eyed, I opened the box. Inside was a beautiful double strand pearl thong. There was the husband I knew. I felt incredible just holding them. To go along with the shoes and thong, he had purchased black thigh highs with a sexy red Cuban heel and my black bra. Good taste, Dr. R.
I sunk into the bubbles and grabbed my wine. Seriously, how did I get so lucky? My husband is amazing, thoughtful, and generous. I needed this and he just knew. What was waiting for me downstairs? He hadn’t mentioned any new toys. There was still the possibility of the aforementioned 5 gentlemen….

I climbed out of the tub and got dressed. I felt sexier than I thought I would in a string of pearls! The stockings and the heels made the outfit. I refilled my wine and went downstairs. He met me at the bottom of the stairs and gazed appreciatively. He liked his handiwork. We walked into the theatre and I took in the set up. He had purchased the Liberator Wedge and Ramp. This is going to be fun! I still thought I was just in for a bit of position play. I had no concept of what he had in mind. We settled in and watched a movie. Then he ushered me to the floor and put me on the wedge. I was laying on my back with my head lower than my hips. He blindfolded me and restrained my wrists and ankles. That alone was disorienting. I was lying there, ass up, spread out, sightless. He disappeared for a moment and left me there to really take in my situation. I started to wonder if he was coming back for me or if this is where the 5 guys were coming in. Would I suddenly feel 10 hands on me?

No, something more incredible and personal and wholly my husband. He returned with headphones. He did not just plug in Pandora and call it quits for the sensory deprivation. No. He mixed his own composition. He took bits of Tool and Nine Inch Nails and classical piano and hunted down the Love Theme from the movie Focus. He spent time blending and sampling and creating this piece of music that would be the backdrop for the night. Incredible. With the earbuds in, I could not hear anything he was doing. I was blind, deaf, and incapacitated. His. Fully.

He stared with the flogger. Letting it fall across my bare chest and abdomen. Whipping it quickly across my thighs. Dragging it along my hipbones. He alternated with a feather and the contrast of thick leather and soft feather was awesome. My skin was tingly. Because I couldn’t see or hear him, I had no idea where the flogger would fall, which direction it was coming from, if it was going to strike again. He kissed down my thighs and tugged at my nipples. He ran his tongue around each as he grabbed my breasts. Harsh and soft at the same time. He made his way down my body to run his tongue around my clit instead. The wedge and restraints means I was held open and elevated. My cunt presented to him. He walked around to my head and placed his cock in my mouth. I sucked him upside down. I love sucking his dick, and doing it this way allowed me to take more of him. I couldn’t use my hands. He fucked my mouth slowly as he ran his hands over my breasts.

Then he started in with the toys. He had chilled my glass dildo (My Icicles 18) and ran it down my labia. Cooling the heated skin and shocking the nerves. His warm mouth was an amazing contrast to that icy glass. More duality and mixed senses. Then he grabbed the Captain. He continued to go down on me while he thrusted that dildo hard. His tongue circling my clit as his free fingers started to tease my ass. Next was the plug. Then a bigger plug. He just kept building and thrusting, speed and intensity. I still could not see or hear anything other than the music in my ears. I was all touch.

When he felt like he’d teased me enough, he took out my earbuds, undid my restraints, and swung me around. I was now in a reclining position and he was at my feet. He continued to go down on me, using his hands and slathering me with coconut oil. I knew he wanted to fuck me in the ass. I was nearly begging him to. He kept the Captain going at a relentless pace and entered my ass. I do love a good DP. I was full and pushed to my limits. He handed me my Eroscillator. As soon as that toy hit my clit, I was over the edge. I was screaming and writhing. He could barely hold on to me. The entire night was in the climax and it wasn’t over yet. I was teary eyed and nearly hyperventilating. He held onto me and gave me a moment to calm down. When started to see straight again, I grabbed him.

I certainly hadn’t had enough. I shoved his cock in my mouth. I was too far gone for subtleties. The slow burn of a tense build up was not within my capabilities at this point. I sucked him ferociously. I grabbed him at the base of his dick, cupping my fingers around his balls, and took every inch of him. My hand was pounding up and down his cock. My mouth was enveloping him. My lips and tongue were numb and swollen. I threw him onto the couch and straddled him. I fucked him hard. Shoving my breasts in his mouth. Grabbing the back of the couch, leaning back, and ramming him into my gspot. I was racing to my next orgasm and he had no choice but to go with me. I rocked on his cock and just shattered. Grabbing his shoulders and falling forward. Gasping and dizzy. He turned me around and over the wedge, ass up, and fucked me from behind. I was thankful for the support because I was not sure I would be able to hold myself up. My hand found my clit and circled furiously. His hands on my hips and pulling me into him was all I could handle. I came again, grabbing the restraints as I arched my back. I could tell he was holding out for me. As soon as I came, his breath changed. He moaned and thrusted faster. Moments later he pulled out of me and came all over my ass before falling to the side.

We were a sweaty, panting, happy heap.

Review: The Captain by Pleasure Works

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It is a long running joke that I often call Dr. R “Captain” so it was no surprise he got me a dildo by the same name. Meet The Captain. The Captain is by far my most realistic dildo. Previously, I was not into the dismembered member look but I was wrong. I have grown to appreciate the look of a man’s cock, and The Captain definitely belongs to a man.

This is not a small dildo. It is no T-Rex, but at 7.5″ in length and nearly 2″ in girth it is a nice, thick cock. And it is thick all the way up to the coronal ridge. I can’t pinpoint why (maybe it is because it reminds me of my favorite cock, but don’t tell Dr. R I told you that), but I love that part. The ridge is pronounced but the shaft doesn’t slim down either. It almost bulges so when it is inside me it feels full all the way down and the ridge is still present. Good stuff. It is a straight shaft so any g-spot stimulation comes from that ridge and large head. It is not great if you are looking for specific g-spot stimulation, but you can certainly feel it if it is angled properly. It also has a flared base that is anal safe and harness compatible. It is not technically a suction cup, but the flare does stick to a smooth surface nicely. It couldn’t handle too much aggression, but it will stay where you put it.

It is made of matte silicone so it is body safe and easy to clean. The texture of the silicone on this dildo is really nice. It is almost silky. I have several matte silicone dildos but the touch of this one is different. It is quite realistic. It does attract hair though like a lot of silicone. There is some veining for texture but none are pronounced enough for me to really feel them. It just adds to the authentic quality. And it comes in four colors so you can pick your flavor – Black, Caramel, Coffee, or Vanilla! Mine is Caramel.

I guess I should continue to give realistic dildos a shot. This one is certainly in frequent rotation lately!